updating the list

just updating the list of stuff that i am hoping to get within this year. only if luck is going to be on my side. hehehe...

looking at the price of these stuff makes me think if i should reconsider doing this hobby. hehehe...

start of a long time partnership

my highschool batchmate who hired me to be a back up wedding photographer last week, texted me last night saying that he did like the shots i made. i am happy he did because that meant a long time partnership. i hope. hehehe... just posting some of the photos i took during the wedding:

Pahiyas Festival Lucban, Quezon

i would just wanna share the photos i took during the Pahiyas Festival. Oh yeah, i did go. hehehe...

another dilemma

i was given a canceled seat reservation to a trip going to lucban's pahiyas festival on friday may 15. it was just confirmed yesterday and to be honest, i am not expecting it. it's just a day tour so i will leave the house at about 3 am to get to the meeting place. so there...

i've always wanted to go there since i was a kid. i kept seeing their colorful festivities in the paintings of the blanco family of artists which made me promise myself that one day i will experience it personally when i am old enough to be there. and now is my chance, but i am having second thoughts because of the super unpredictable weather conditions that we have right now in our country. it is still supposed to be summer but we already had 4 typhoons. the thing is it floods in our place and my mom will be alone if i go. i also prefer staying at home when it rains or storms.

i am still weighing things and i am checking the weather forecast for the week. it seems promising for metro manila but in quezon the weather's a little off. hay. but i don't have any choice. i still need to make a decision soon. i only have 2 days maximum to cancel. hay...

one year

tomorrow marks my first year in this company. after starting out as an agent and later on transferred to a level 2 post, now, i am in the marketing department. to sum up my stay here, i can say that it was a good one. my capabilites were noticed and i was given a lot of opportunities and room to learn new things. it was challenging but in a good way. i thank the Lord for the opportunity. i could not ask for more aside from some salary adjustment that has long been overdue. hehehe...

new design

i want a new blog design; however, i need help on setting up what i want to happen. and my ever reliable friend and officemate was axed last month so our plans did not push through. hay. i hope someone would help me. hehehe...

happy earth day

let's do our share. :)

senseless

i am trying to write a new post today; however, i can't seem to figure out what to write. i felt like writing about something but decided not to. i guess i just don't have anything sensible to write. there are a lot of noise and clutter in my head and i just can't seem to organize them. maybe i just needed a break, a long vacation getaway. but odds are, i'll be stuck at home. no budget for out of town trips and i've got an over protective mom. maybe she kept on forgetting that her little girl is already in her 30s. hahaha...

i hope that it will rain money this month

me want to go ilocos and cebu. hay.

and the list goes on...

the list is just getting longer. here is another one of the lens that i would like to get. i hope someone will give this to me out of charity. hehehe...

Nikon 35mm f/1.8G AF-S DX

happy thoughts

i am not sure whether this can be considered a happy thought because all the photos i posted below are quite a frustration but makes me strive hard to get them. so look below to find out... hehehe...

nikon d90

nikkor 18-200 VR lens

50mm prime lens f/1.4

speedlight SB-800

my happiness... haay...

stressed

it's been a long time since my last post. i've been busy coping up with stress lately.

the roller coaster ride of emotions since the start of this month is indescribable. i am just waiting for the day that they will tell me "you are no longer needed here so leave now."

The hard work somehow is not worth it because it will not be recognized and appreciated anyway. i must admit, i am slowly giving in to this evil. to be honest, i dunno where it will take me. God speed.

casualty

we just had another casualty today. who will be next? it is for us to find out.

axed

def: In television, cancellation (known as axing in Australia and the United Kingdom) refers to the termination of a program by the network, typically ...

go figure out what happened.

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i lost some friends again from work yesterday. sad is all i can define what i am feeling right now. they are my buddies. we stuck with each other for 3 months. unfortunately, on the forth month, 2 has to go. i am the last man standing but until when? hay.

for the win!

just posting a photo shared by a friend. most of the people my age will surely recognize him. hehehe... go angus! :)

late again

i am hating this trend. i always end up late to work once a week. geez... this makes me feel real bad because i make sure that i wake up early and i allot too much extra travel time so i will arrive on time at work. i've been exerting too much effort lately and i am afraid that one day i will end up not caring anymore. geez... but i don't want to lose my job. and i am trying hard to choose not to be in a bad mood today. seems like the stars are not on my favor again this year. but i refuse to believe that. hay.

kung hei fat choi

happy chinese new year!

The Horse:
SUMMER is your season.
JUNE is your month.

You are compatible with: Tigers, Dogs and Sheep

Cheerful and Gregarious, Popular and Loves to Party. Perceptive Warmth, But Hot-Blooded Impatience Leads to Feisty Anger. Independent, Ignores Advise, Skillful with Money. You are Sexy and Tends to Fall in Love Easily.

obama fever

cute

a friend showed me this picture today and i find it nice and very creative. to whoever made this, good job, dude! :)

addicted

i've read somewhere that it is addicting to take wedding photos once you get to taste it. i must confess that this is true. i am already considering to crash into wedding ceremonies whenever i can... hehehe... on a second thought, would it be more inspiring to capture the moment if the person you are photographing is a friend or someone you know?! oh well, i guess i would have to wait for wedding invitations in the future. i hope they come soon. anyway, everybody's getting married except me. hehehe...

changes

i've been into photoshop since the start of this week. i must admit that i am an ignorant when it comes to photo editing and i've realized that i need to get rid of that ignorance sooner. however, i am solely focusing on learning how to make a photo standout. this will benefit my photography hobby a lot. thanks to the internet, i am so pleased that there are a lot of resources on the net about this. i hope i will be good at this. i am so excited to fiddle with my photos. i hope to salvage some old photos from my files. wish me luck... :)

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if things will go smoothly, i will be making some changes on my blog site. i hope that my friend will be able to help me. hehehe... til the next ish. :)

new

i know that whatever i am into right now is not an easy feat. however, i shall not falter. i must succeed. God bless me.

surprisingly excited

i am a homebody. i prefer staying at home most of the time and watch TV or tinker with something in my PC. i do not go out at night to hang out in bars and get drunk. i don't drink nor smoke. i know, i am boring but that's how i prefer it. i do not like going to events like weddings or baptisms but i am now looking forward to these. for some odd reasons, i am excited that i have 2 events to attend to until march. well, not that much but i am hoping that i will be invited to more events within the year. i know this is not me but maybe the fact that i can make myself busy while taking photos is the primary reason of my excitement. i just hate getting bored in events like this that is why i usually decline invitations. can't wait for the baptism that i will attend on january 18. hehehe... will post pictures soon. :)

thirty

this day marks the third decade since the first day of my existence. i have a lot of things to be thankful for. to be honest, i have not yet contemplated on what those are but let me try on writing them down.

first, the fact that i am still here writing this blog entry. hehehe...

the roller coaster ride for those years that made me the person i am today. i had life's ups and downs in all sorts and color of it that you may think of. i would like to think that i became a responsible individual and a person who has a good head on her shoulder because of all of these. though, i hope someone will confirm my conclusion... hehehe...

the good friends i made who are still my friends up to this day. though time and space separate us, we still managed to be friends.

my mom who has always been there for me and the source of my strength.

the angels that were sent to my aid every now and then.

the job that i have right now which i hope to keep for the longest time i could.

i am looking forward to a lot of great things ahead of me. i know that there are still a lot in store for me. i just hope that all of these will materialize soon. :) wish me luck.

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it just feels odd today. it is my birthday however, it seems like any ordinary day. it's the 2nd year that this has happened to me. oh, i think i am just getting older. hehehe...

welcome 2009

another year has passed. to be honest, 2008 was not a really good year for me. i lost my job on the month of january and had a hard time finding the job i really wanted to do. i learned that doing a job that requires less usage of the brain does not please me. hehehe... however, i still have a lot of things to be thankful for, for the rest of the year. i found a new job that i am hoping to be with for a long time. i was promoted twice and currently in a developmental assignment for my new post. we won our labor case against our former employer. i found new friends and i hope to keep them as the years pass.

i hope that 2009 will be more fruitful for all of us. happy new year everyone!

blog leave for the holidays

i'll be on blog leave for a few days. making sure that i will take full advantage of the holidays. hehehe... happy holidays guys!!!!!!!

teaser

posting one of the photos i took last saturday on yoshie's wedding. i am still in the process of editing the others. err... my friend was the one doing the editing. yeah, i do not know how to use photoshop so i had to ask a friend to help me with the editing. please feel free to comment on the photo if it still needs editing. :)

tale of two weddings

i had a long day last saturday (12.20.08). two of my good friends tied the knot on that date and i had to be there. to be honest, i am not so fond of attending weddings because i do not like the fact that you have to dress and put up with something uncomfortable for the day. the last wedding i attended was my brother's a few years back.

i dunno why i agreed to be there in the first place even if i hated dressing up. maybe i just felt that i had to be there for these 2 special people who had been part of my life. drama... hehehe... yoshie, i kept my promise even if it cost me an arm and a leg. hehehe... ;D

to almira and yoshie, two of my good friends, congratulations and best wishes! i hope that your marriage will be showered with God's blessings! i love you both!

ohhh... i just remembered... welcome to my clan. hehehe... what a coincidence... both of you are now mrs. reyes. hehehe...

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i would like to confess that this is the first time i enjoyed being in a wedding... maybe because i have a new toy. it kept me busy and i realized that it was fun taking pictures in such an event. i am deeply considering jumping into serious photography soon. maybe do weddings or food photography. i just need to practice and still need to learn a lot. i hope i get good at this. will post the photos soon. i just have to ask a friend to edit it first before i can post it. :)

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just posting the paintings i recently made. these were given as gifts to my friends who just got married. :)

got it! finally

finally, i got my first dslr last tuesday. after 3 years of striving to save so i can get one... finally, the long wait is over. it was a nerve wracking travel going to hidalgo, quiapo because it was my first time to go there alone. it was an experience looking for the camera shop alone, too. i am glad that everything went well and i've been excitedly fiddling with my new toy since tuesday night. though, i have not gotten too familiar with it. i still need to sleep and go to work you know. hehehe... i hope i'll get used to it and be able to capture good pictures at my friends wedding on saturday. wish me luck. :)

just imagine

i just fell in love with this movie that was not shown mainstream maybe because it's a gay movie. it caught my attention through a newspaper ad. the story was simple and yet i still love it. i am a sucker of romantic films. oh yeah, i am a hopeless romantic. this is the first time i got to watch a movie like this and i am surprised that i love it. i suddenly became a lena headey fan. hehehe... just makes me wonder how i will react if this thing happens to me. finding love in an odd way. i hope i dont get judged by people i love. :)

cute

cute photo. the wonders of photoshop. hehehe...

twilight

i just felt the need to post what i have in mind after watching the movie twilight last saturday. yeah, everyone's raving about it but honestly, i like the book better and i was disappointed with its movie version. well, first i would have preferred someone else play the role of Edward Cullen. i know that you might disagree with me but unfortunately the Edward that i saw on film did not meet my standards of the Edward described in the book. second, i feel that the movie could have been a lot better. the story could have been presented in a much better way. if you did not read the book first before watching the film, you may like it but if you did, chances are that you will agree with me. :) if the folks who made the Harry Potter movie were able to give justice to the book in its film version, i honestly would have hoped the same for twilight. but if i will be asked if i will still watch the sequels, i will. for the hope that these will outbest its previous sequel. but of course, this is only my two cents. :)

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it just happened
dark secrets had been revealed
everyone's sitting on the edge of their seat
intently watching, listening
heart beats intensifying
confusion and fear overlooms
so many unanswered questions
is this the end of these all
we can only hope

day dreaming

i dream of one day taking my mom to this place. island of santorini, greece.

something to look forward to

coming soon in 2009. my favorite cartoon series when i was really young. hehehe...

drool

i have a lot of not so good things to blog about but i'd rather not do it. maybe in the next months or so. i am just too tired to whine. i just want to somehow forget about the not so good stuff that has been happening so i am just posting some stuff that i dream to have. it's a dream because i am pretty sure i will not be able to buy it unless i win a lottery which i do not engage in. hehehe...

pretty isn't it? i can't help but drool over it... hehehe...

dazed and confused

a lot of things kept me busy lately. work was kinda demanding but i never felt tired doing it. a lot of things had been happening and i must admit i got affected with those changes. confused as i was, i made a huge decision that will define my career in the next few years. i was determined to get the job until i got to talk to someone who knew exactly what is going to happen after transition.

all along, i thought that these changes will displace us our jobs and tasks. i was so wrong all this time.

the person who we relied that will explain and clarify everything to us; unfortunately, did not. and because of such, i lost my respect to that person not entirely though. i am still giving him the benefit of the doubt. i just cannot imagine why he, of all people would just leave us hanging like that. tsktsktsk. maybe i just trusted him too much and i am still hoping that he has a very good explanation of all of these.

i must admit that after totally understanding everything and the tasks that we need to accomplish, i now have my doubts if i still wanna jump to that big career opportunity. too bad, i cannot revoke the application i made. on how things are going, it seems that we are 80-90% sure that we already have the job. according to them, the perks are humongous but just like how huge those benefits are, so as the risks, too. if i get axed in the position, i can never go back to my old position before assuming this. sounds fair but i still it scares me a lot. who would want a job with no security. i dunno, but i guess i've been involved too much and too bad, i can no longer turn back. i guess i just have to face whatever consequences this might entail. i just hope everything turns out fine.

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update. i just heard that we had an interview with our boss to be on tuesday morning. it seems that there are 4 candidates for the position and they only need 3. i am laying everything in God's hand. if this is mine, Thy will be done.

changes

it sounds like a title of a song. hehehe... i've been missing blogging. i rarely had time to write anything at all because i am too pre-occupied with a lot of things. work has been pretty challenging lately and now it just got more challenging and complicated. this is already a cliche but i think this summarizes what is happening at work right now: there's nothing permanent in this world but change. hay... will try to blog more. i hope i'll find time. hehehe...

update

it has been a week since i was transfered to a level 2 position. i only had 1 rest day per week so far. not a problem, its extra pay and the work is easy though time consuming. i'd like to say that i have already adjusted to this but here comes a new challenge. we were given a new task that is out of our job description. will go to details soon. for now, wish me luck.

goodbye... hello

today is the first day i officially said goodbye to taking in calls. i was a bit shocked yesterday that i will be transfered to a level 2 position and will be doing an entirely different thing that is very sensitive, delicate and dangerous. sensitive and delicate because we are handling sensitive billing info of the customers... dangerous bec i might not even reach the day of my regularization doing this job. hehehe... i'm pretty sure you know what i am trying to say. :)

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i barely had sleep yesterday because they had to immediately train us to cover the position that were vacated by some colleagues for reasons the management only knows. to be honest, i have a slight clue about that reason; however, i'd rather not go into details. i would like to think that things are going well on my way here however, i can't help but think that my ex-colleagues' fate might be mine soon, too. i just hope that i get to stay until december. that's all that i ask for. God speed. :)

reunion with ghee

these pictures are long overdue for posting. since i don't have a digicam, i had to wait for my friend to upload the pics first. thanks yoshie for the upload! hehehe... so here are some of the pictures. enjoy!

demoralized

i am in a state of limbo. a feeling of nausea engulfs me. if only i can shut off my senses and pretend i am not affected, i am sure i already did. but i feel otherwise. i can feel the chaos all over deeply penetrating into my senses. i've been trying so hard to shake it off, unfortunately, it sticks like a superglue and does not have any plans of leaving soon. i've been trying so hard that i finally i've reached the end of my line. my final button had been pushed and i have made my decision. i am leaving soon who knows when but for sure i will.

dance videos

dismayed

my head is spinning and i am confused. all i am feeling is dismal. i am starting to get discouraged... and demoralized.

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i do not like what is happening. the comfortable next to home, peaceful, harmonious and fun environment that i used to hear and had experienced for a few weeks no longer exists. the place is beginning to feel odd and suffocating like a place no one would like to stay even for a minute. i am beginning to feel discomfort. it's like walking on a thin glass that will break anytime you take a wrong step. i am trying hard to shake it off but until when? i guess until the day comes that i have to leave because they forced me to.

lord, please grant me the strength i need to surpass all of these. i cannot fail this time. i should not fail. amen.

why don't i feel it?!!

disclaimer: please pardon my grammar in this post. i have not double checked this entry. i just felt the need of posting a new entry today. so please forgive me if i had some mistakes. will fix this asap. thanks. :)

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i am staring in front of my computer trying to weave something sensible out of my brain to post here but i cannot think of anything. if i am not mistaken, it's been a month or less since the last time i posted an entry. i would like to think that i intentionally did that but it's otherwise. i had a few things to blog about but i am not sure how to write it. so please forgive me if this entry won't make any sense just like my other previous entries. hehehe...

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my friend from dubai came back to the philippines last wednesday night and i am glad that i got to hear her voice again. she called me on thursday afternoon and to be honest, i did not recognize her voice. boy, it's been 4 and a half years since the last time i heard her voice. i only got to see her in pictures. she invited us to dinner or should i say late night dinner last saturday (july 19). it was a fun night. we spent the night catching up with each other and reminiscing the old times. we were laughing hard. it was a really fun night. one reason, i had a hard time leaving early the group. so i did not mind even if i will arrive home at 5am and that my mom will scold me for going home early in the morning. oh yeah, she still gets angry with me at times for doing things like this. to her, i am still her little daughter. hehehe... we were with our group of friends whom we all met in one of the call centers we worked for in 2003. we just worked together for a few months and yet, the bond we shared is that of friends who've been together for several years. i dunno why but it's just like that. i remember a colleague of ours said that our friendship will only last up to the time that we are still together at work. but he was proven wrong because we already surpassed that. it's been 5 years since then. though, we rarely had time to see each other, our bond is still the same and i believe getting stronger.

let's drop her name. she's rox. everybody loves her because she is such an amiable person. i remember her teary eyed when i resigned from our office in 2004 to transfer to another call center. i can say that she did not change a bit. she is the same bubbly person i used to remember. she still laughs her heart out whenever she finds a joke funny. she still has some issues with her hearing just like before. hehehe... i just realized i missed her that much.

will post our pics when i finally get it. :)

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i should be happy today or should i say elated. i am the number agent for our team in terms of quality scores for this week. i surpassed the top agent of our team and the entire site for the longest time. i didn't expect this. i know i deserve it because i worked hard for it. however, i am feeling nothing. don't get me wrong i am so thankful to our dear Lord about what happened because i have been praying for it. but i think i am feeling the pressure more of surpassing the score i currently have and the consistency of my performance. i just dunno. i know our dear Lord will not fail me. God speed.

it's been a while since the last time a posted an entry. i just don't have time to write my thoughts lately. or maybe because i am too drained to write my thoughts. so here i am trying my best if i can weave something sensible out of my head. hehehe...

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there are a few things that are making me look forward to this month. one, after 5 long years, i will see a good friend again. she worked in dubai for the past 5 years and she's coming back home finally. two, another good friend from canada is coming home this month. however, i will only get to see her in august because she has a full schedule for her entire stay here. and lastly, my team lead told me that i am going to be transferred to a new account because of my good performance. and i think i am the only who would be handling that in our team. i believe that this is a good sign. i hope everything works well.

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i have a feeling that good things are starting to come my way. i just hope they are here to stay. God speed. :)

thoughts

i am starting to understand why there are a lot of people leaving. to be very honest, i am getting one hell of a valid reason to be discouraged everyday. though, i am still studying the situation and i am just waiting for the judgment day. i am having doubts but still i would like to know where all of these will lead me. i'm sure i'll find the answers soon. i hope it's something beneficial to all of us. i also hope that i'll finally find what i've long been looking for. something i truly deserve.

junefourtwothousandeight
seventwentyone am

update

after a week of nesting, we had a new casualty. yeah, she decided to leave and move to a company that will give her a better shift. she had been my bff (best friend forever) since day one or should i say since the day we had passed our final interview. we've been seatmates and we often talk about our views and other stuff and we usually go home together, too. it was just sad that i had to say goodbye to her this early. we instantly clicked maybe because we are almost of the same age. haay... sad. i was not able to convince her to stay because i understand her reasons. to put it bluntly, been there, done that. to be honest, i am not sure about this job, too. however, i am willing to take the risk and step up for the challenge. the only thing i know is that i need this job and i have to stick with it for now. i'm sure i won't think twice if something better comes my way soon. but for now, i definitely think that i should stay.

it's just sad that after next week, i will be letting go of some more people i've grown to be friends with. i have to put up with the challenge of fitting in and making friends again. haay...

maythirtyonetwothousandeight
seventhirtyseven am

sad

12 days. we had a lot of fun. we had a cool group. everybody has his own funny bone to boast. now, it was all over and we had to move on. it saddens me because there is a big possibility that we won't be seeing two people anymore and also the fact that they had to go on their own separate ways with unsolved issues with each other. i am concerned about the friendship that was at stake. it saddens me that they had to end up like that. i hope they can fix things if not now, maybe soon.

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training was over and nesting will start on monday. i am feeling a lot of pressure because my trainer told the owner of the company that i was the topnotcher in her class. yeah, the owner of the company was there during our graduation last friday. he awarded our certificates of completion and got to shake his hands. oh, by the way, the owner is Dan Pena. according to them, he is a very rich guy. i did not expect to be the number 1 in class, all i wanted was to pass the training. fortunately, i did with a big bonus... the pressure of high expectations on my shoulders. well, if you can call it a bonus. but knowing myself, i am sure i will take this as a challenge. whew! i hope i could meet those expectations. god speed.

maytwentyfourtwothousandeight
twelvenoon