dilemma

yesterday, i blogged about how my initial attempt to apply for any position available in IBM went. last night, before i left for my shift my supervisor called me and told me that we have to talk. i really dont have any idea what's going on. but because she asked me to go to her station, i obliged. honestly, i got nervous but i tried to push the thought away.

she first asked me how do i feel about taking in calls. i think she was able to read the expression on my face. so she asked me if i had an inbound call experience. i gave her the summary of my call center experience. she then told me that she is wondering what i am doing with a non-voice account and said that she thinks that i'm getting wasted on the account i'm currently in. with all that have been said, i have a hint on where this is all going. so i asked her if they are considering to transfer me to an inbound post. she gave me a hesitant yes. like she doesn't want to tell me just yet. she told me that they are transferring 3 or 4 people on that account and among them i'm her number one bet... "wow! that was flattering", was all i can say at that time. she added that if i have noticed that the recently promoted people came from the same account and she wants me to have that career path for me... which i am really thankful... at least meron nakapansin sa akin. i said thanks and if she thinks that that i am should be on the inbound account, so be it. i also told her that i trust her... which i really mean.

after the talk, i got myself thinking of a lot of things. is this the break that i've been waiting for??... has my time to climb up the corporate ladder finally arrived??... is this promising enough??... should i let go of the other opportunities knocking on my door and stay here??... my dream of getting a better paying job in IBM is within reach... will i let go of it???... if i get in IBM, i'll be able to provide for my mom and her worries for our everyday life will finally be gone... di na namin kailangan habulin ang pera na dapat namin makuha galing sa erpat ko... kahit meron kme karapatan dun... he can allot all of it to his illegitimate son and his close relatives... all i want is a peaceful life... sawa na ako sa mga sumbat ng erpat ko... at least, if i get that job in IBM... i can prove him wrong and that i made the right decisions in life... kahit di ko sinunod ang gusto n'yang maging abogado ako... don't get me wrong i don't hate him... i'm too numb to feel anything anymore... that was what i'm trained for... trained... just like soldiers... but the thing is we are not...

don't get me wrong... i'm not the type of person who's full of angst... i still view life positively... di ako galit sa mundo... nor i am depressed... these are just my thoughts and i think i'm in a deep dilemma... all i want to do is give my mom the good life she deserves after all of these hard years... with God's help... i know i can... soon... :)

photo taken from this website: click here